Dear Mom

Every time I see you, I tear up
Is it because I hate you for meddling with my life?
Or I'm thankful because you do?
Either way, I still can't explain why

We don't talk so often like other girls does
We don't go shopping that much
We don't share our thoughts
But that doesn't mean we're not close enough

I understand you have work and is busy
You don't have time to spend with us
I know you're doing it for us
And I know how much you want to play with us

I know how selfless you've been for us
How you swallowed your pride for us
You turned your back to important people in you life
Just to be with us

And now we're all grown up
You're old and the lines on your face shows it all
But your love didn't change
But we did change

I want to see a whole new world
I had to go away
I had to leave you behind
I made you worry, but you didn't stop me

You want me to do what I want
You gave me freedom
And I thought I can without you
I am wrong

How do I thank you
When you've given me so much
How do I show my love
When yours is overflowing

Sometimes when I feel empty
I just want to call you and hear your voice
I want to see you and hold you tight
I want to kiss you and say how much I miss you

I couldn't do it though
I'm afraid I might breakdown
I'm afraid you'll feel lonely
I'm afraid it will be the last

Dear Mom,
I don't want to see you hurting
You don't have to protect me anymore
I'm all grown up now

You don't have to go out to cry alone
You don't have to do things all on your own
Don't keep all the burden
Just tell me to hug you tight, I will

Always remember that you're forever in my heart
You're irreplaceable
You're the only one for me
I love you so much.

The Curse is Still Here

Looking back in the old days
When you cut this little girl's hair
The same old style
And tell her she's pretty the way she is

You pour so much love
She grew up with confidence
She's independent and is strong
You're the one who taught her that

But the fairy tale you wrote for her
It didn't went well as planned
The spell didn't last long
The magic is slowly fading

The storm came and the castle is gone
The King and Queen lost their thrones
The people forsake them
It's all ruined

With love the King and Queen tried to start anew
They tried to make things right
But what was wrong is always wrong
It will never change, can't be whiten out

Sorrowful time has passed
The little girl earned broken pieces
Broken pieces of secrets
Slowly completing the picture

Like a strike of lightning
The secrets unveiled
The answers came out
It totally broke the little girl's heart

Knowing everything without showing it
Feigning ignorance and keeping thoughts
Keeping a straight face and keeping the tears
She learned it all

She wears a smile just like the queen's
She just listen like the king
She silently accept criticisms and insults
She stuffed all the pain inside

At night she would cry
A silent prayer, wishing everything will be alright
Cheering herself up
Wiping her tears nonstop

She sees what's not supposed to be seen
She hears what she shouldn't
But it was never shared
She locked it inside her

There's so much that she wants to say
But she's afraid if she sings
They will all turn their backs and walk away
Like what the people has done to her before

Now, the pressures on
Her mind's in chaos
What's wrong and right
Should and Shouldn't collides

She's black and white
She still fights
Though all she have is herself
And a God.

If You Are Mine

I saw you in the cafeteria again today
With your black hair messy, with your Missy
Too bad, you're not mine
Too bad, there's no us

You waved and smiled
Everything around us has stopped
The noise of everyone around has become a sweet melody
You're making me breathless

My heart seemed to stop beating normally
It feels good and bad
I think my head isn't functioning right
My system gone crazy

I smiled back
But the moment was cut
She hugged you from behind
And it all turned black

It hurts to see you smiling for her
But it hurts more to see you crying because of her
If you're mine, I'll make you smile
I won't make you cry

If you are mine, I'll give you love
A love that's overflowing
I'll support you in everything
I'll be the girl that will stay

I won't give you a hard time
I'll make sure you're always fine
You'll be the only one in my life
Only if you are mine

Piss Off!

In a song I can't understand
A familiar feeling crawls slowly in my heart
Amidst the broken lines from before
It makes its way silently

I was doing fine a minute ago
And now look how devastated I am
Words that I can't understand
Somehow it still feels nice

Not knowing anything is good
Seeing the real thing is depressing
If you don't want me to go away
Then tell me to stay

But, dear, why are you so confusing?
You're pushing and pulling
Am I yours to throw when I'm of no use anymore?
Am I a toy you'll get enough and dispose?

When I speak the truth
You won't believe a word
If I lie, I'm bad
I'm evil, and that makes me mad

Are you that great to treat me like that?
If you are, then look at yourself now.
I swear to the brightest star in the sky,
It is not you I need in my life.

Your witticism is not funny
It doesn't make sense
It is ugly
A trash it is, stop it.

I am but a small being.
But I make big things you couldn't see.
You know nothing about me.
So stop making stories, and pick up your life on the ground.