Martes, Agosto 30, 2016

Death

I wonder what's in your mind on your last breath
I wonder who you last look at until your vision became all dark
If ever you came to the hospital a little earlier, would you still make it?
Or is it destiny? Or fate? Or God's will to take you?

I was so confident that at the break of dawn you'll be back
With much better feeling and is alright
I prayed to God to take care of you
And I guess keeping you to his side was his best option\

I'm sorry I was a coward and never got the chance to say how much I love you
How much I wanted to thank you for taking care of me all these years
Flashbacks of your words kept on running in my mind
Though it didn't mean anything before, it somehow means a lot now

Was it just me? Or everyone else?
I accepted the fact but still regretting.
It's saddening. I couldn't control my tears racing down my face
You are a dad to me after all.

Your words before may cut like a knife, but they are somehow true
I am selfish and sometimes a brat
A small conversation with you is rare
But when we had one, deep points are out

I've always wanted to tell you how I feel but I just can't
I was afraid that you would disagree
I hang out with my friends without you knowing
I don't want you to think I'm neglecting my studies

It's my last year in college, why'd you go?
I thought you'll see me in that stage with a diploma in hand
How am I supposed to study well now?
When the one pushing me to pursue is gone

Are you really gone? I lost direction now.
Give me strength the way you do.
Scold me more to right my wrongs.
I even miss your insults, funny it is, I know.

And now, the people around me don't talk to me anymore.
No one would ask how school was.
I don't know to whom should I ask help
Because I feel more invisible now.

It feels lonely.
No one asked if I'm alright.
No one comforted me once you're gone.
But don't worry, in time, I'll be fine.

And now I realized, no time, no place in particular.
No persons, or feelings, we doesn't know.
Once it's time then it is.
No matter what we'll die anyway.